Everything affects everything

If you google happiness, well being or positive psychology you will quickly discover the main  subjects and research. The importance of gratitude, meaning, optimism, resilience, kindness, developing your strengths, and finding what you value. You will also hopefully find that variety is important and that exercise and mindful living are as beneficial to the mind as to the body. 

Most of what is written on the subject is limited and simplistic and at its heart a 'good' life is not complicated - but it is complex.

There isn’t just one contributing key to a happier, more fulfilled life. Nothing is simple and yet everything is simple, because changing just one small aspect in your life affects something else which in turn has an effect.

The scientist Stephen Wolfram shows very neatly how complexity can arise from the very simple when randomness is one of the factors fed into the most basic computer program. This is not what is interesting; his main point is that it is not always possible to retrieve the simple beginning from the complex or to predict the outcome when randomness is a feature. In a very simple example he creates beautiful and complex patterns from running very basic programs.

In some ways it could be said that positive psychology is attempting to find the code, the initial programme that  produce the most beautiful lives. Philosophers and mystics have attempted similar journeys and come to very similar conclusions. There is no surprise at how much research findings are mirroring some of the teachings of ancient mystics and philosophers. However, it should be remembered that all ancient writings on the practices and behaviours of those who have embodied what has been recognised as the height of human flourishing were written by followers in their name. Buddha, Jesus and Socrates wrote nothing. Their ‘teaching’ was given in practice and through stories and principles that call for reflective action in relationship to the self and others; the best understanding of these teachings is only really revealed in practice.

Human life is not isolated, even within itself. Each thought, word and deed is in communion with otherness: our environment or someone else or our own desires and needs, ambitions or fears, with the added extra of the random feedback loop that each thought generates as it ricochets out and back like an echo-sounder.

In the rather confusing mind map above I hoped to convey the integrated way we improve happiness and wellbeing. Improving only one of the boxes has the potential to impact on all of your life. Action and focus in any area of your life can positively affect your overall wellbeing, resilience and happiness

The Indians have a saying- that we are a house with four rooms, emotional, physical, mental and spiritual and we need to visit each room every day if only to open the window.

Get into Action

Action before thought is sometimes a good thing!

Watch your thoughts because they become your words

Watch your words because they become your actions

Watch your actions because they become your habits

Watch your habits because they become your character

Watch your character because it becomes your destiny.

I spend a lot of time focusing at the beginning of this quote, on how we think. We can choose how we think and change our perspective and the rest follows; what you think creates the world you experience. Today I would like to focus on the 3rd line. Watch your actionsbecause they become your habits.

Our habits express who we are much more than our sentiments.

In fact our habits can betray us however much we want to deceive ourselves that we are what we think more than what we do. Thinking affects what we do, but it is also true that doing effects what we think.

If you smile you will feel happier, just as if you are happy it makes smile.

Kinder people are happier and happier people are kinder.

The life we have been dealt can shape our character. 

Our character is expressed through our habits.

Our habits govern our actions.

Our actions direct our words.

Our words betray our thoughts.

This way round it sounds less inspiring.  When written this way it conveys a powerless response to life events (reactive),  as opposed to a motivated directed response (proactive).

If our character is shaped by a mindless reactive response to life’s lottery the process is probably continued until the thoughts generated at the end of this process would feed back into the return re-action i.e.from those thoughts back to character and destiny.  And back again. An endless feedback loop.

Traditional therapy spends a lot of time examining things in backward direction; from events to thoughts, in order that people can understand why they might think theway they do and then choose to change things.

Backward thinking people use their thoughts to examine their lives.

Forward thinking people use their thoughts to create their lives.

Any thinking is good, even backward thinking. However when trouble strikes the habit of forward thinking will serve you much, much, better than backward thinking.

Mindless action, thoughtless behavior can be a habit in and of itself, and I include in this understanding of mindless behavior;

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Behavior and actions that come of mindlessly following and obeying rules.

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Behavior and actions done with no thought at all beyond immediate gratification.

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Lack of awareness, general thoughtless behavior.

What is sad is that many people don’t wake up to, or question their thinking until trouble strikes.

Do mindless actions lead to thoughtless habits? Which in turn define our nature? If we examine our actions do we say we act this way because that’s the way we are or the way we are choosing to be.

A fixed mindset believes that we are who we are and people cant and don’t change. A growth mindset believes anyone can change.

We develop our character through what we habitually do and think, and we CAN choose how we think, act and behave.

We don’t speak much about character today and we certainly don’t spend much time discussing the qualities and behavior that belies good character. We have become facile in how we speak about values, and forget that what we value is at the heart of what we really care about and governs our behavior. What we DO defines us and gives us our identity, and what we do can be done mindlessly.

Are you choosing your story or mindlessly at the mercy of it?